When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress Paperback – 3 January 2019 by Dr Gabor Maté (Author)

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  • When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress Paperback – 3 January 2019 by Dr Gabor Maté (Author)

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      When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress Paperback – 3 January 2019 by Dr Gabor Maté (Author)

      269.00

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      Review

      Gabor Maté’s connections―between the intensely personal and the global, the spiritual and the medical, the psychological and the political―are bold, wise and deeply moral. He is a healer to be cherished ― Naomi Klein, author of No Logo and The Shock Doctrine

      Rare and refreshing. . . . Here you will find family stories, an accessible description of brain development and sound information. You will also find hope ― Globe and Mail

      His medical background and lucid writing style make complex biological processes accessible to non-scientific readers ― The Gazette (Montreal)

      An insightful read that makes you realise that without your health nothing really matters ― The Sun

      About the Author

      Gabor Maté is a retired physician, bestselling author and renowned speaker, highly sought after for his expertise on addiction, trauma, stress and childhood development. He has written four bestselling books published in nearly thirty languages, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. He has been awarded the Order of Canada (his country’s equivalent of the MBE) and the Civic Merit Award from his hometown, Vancouver, for his ground-breaking medical work and writing.
      Dimensions 2 × 19.9 cm
      Publisher ‏

      ‎ Vermilion (3 January 2019)

      Language ‏

      ‎ English

      Paperback ‏

      ‎ 320 pages

      ISBN-10 ‏

      ‎ 178504222X

      ISBN-13 ‏

      ‎ 978-1785042225

      Item Weight ‏

      ‎ 222 g

      Dimensions ‏

      ‎ 12.8 x 2 x 19.9 cm

      Country of Origin ‏

      ‎ United Kingdom

      Based on 10 reviews

      4.44 Overall
      77.78%
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      10 reviews for When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress Paperback – 3 January 2019 by Dr Gabor Maté (Author)

      1. Ritik

        Best book

      2. Vasanth

        Why good people die young is the gist of the book.

      3. SJ

        Timely delivery.

      4. Minnu

        The book is in good condition and it’s good

      5. surinder singh bola

        Excellent book at affordable price.

      6. Omkar

        Good book on stress and how it impacts our body with real life stories.

      7. Priyanka

        Such kind of paper exist …poorest paper quality high price and Colour itself pale yellow .. can’t even feel good to hold the book … Was very much excited to see and read the book after seeing the review …but no use due to book quality

      8. Anand Chaturvedi

        Dr. Mate has an amazingly simple way of explaining what happens in cases of people contracting unimaginable hardships and rapid decline in healths of people. I think everyone must read this now before it is too late.

      9. Vigilantius

        Vital wisdom on how emotional stress triggers major illnesses, and how to healAs we know, deep in our bones, mind and body are not separate, despite the false severance propagated by Descartes and much western philosophy and science. This is not to deny that evidence-based science has brought immense gains for humankind, but to assert that we in the West have much to learn.In this seminal work of 2003, the eminent and retired Canadian physician, Dr Gabor Maté, brought to popular attention the essential connectedness of human physical health and emotional and spiritual well-being, by detailing how deep-seated emotional imbalances (especially related to stress) trigger major illnesses.Maté ends with essential wisdom on emotional healing processes, concluding that ‘health rests on three pillars: the body, the psyche, and the spiritual connection. To ignore any one of these is to invite imbalance and dis-ease.’His subsequent books and teachings on addiction, mental health and childhood all draw from these insights – which are as old as mankind. (Maté does not look at the healthcare spending implications of his teachings, for example, the disparity between the massive sums spent on drug, genetic and other mechanistic healthcare interventions and that spent on mental and emotional healthcare and research.)An important caution, which Maté emphasises, is that this approach is not about blaming anyone for their illness, which would be counter-productive and frankly wrong. Rather, the book is about getting to the usually unconscious nub of what is going wrong, with compassion, in order to serve as a catalyst for personal transformation, where this is possible. Though the author does not say so, for someone already suffering from a major illness, this book may not be appropriate.The central context is that Western obsession with narrow definition and measurement has brought about a profound blindness regarding the connectedness of everything – not least how the health of human beings should not be described in isolation from the environment in which we develop, live, work, play, love and die.Medicine has yet to assimilate an important lesson of Einstein’s theory of relativity (or relatedness): that the position (and perspective) of an observer will influence the phenomenon being observed and will affect the results of the observation. An implication from this is that there is no such thing as objective diagnosis, and that a holistic approach must be adopted. The narrowness of most Western medicine, in largely excluding psychological and behavioural insight and healing from its purely physical diagnoses and prognoses, disseminates much harm. As Ivan Ilyich wrote in Limits to Medicine, ‘Medicine tells us as much about the meaningful performance of healing, suffering and dying as chemical analysis tells us about the aesthetic value of pottery.’Not all Western doctors have been so clinically limited. Noel Hershfield, from the University of Calgary, summed up some time ago what a minority of professors had noticed, that ‘there is compelling evidence… that an intimate relationship exists between the brain and the immune system… An individual’s emotional make-up, and the response to continued stress, may indeed be causative in the many diseases that medicine treats… diseases such scleroderma and the vast majority of rheumatic disorders, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, and legions of other conditions’, including, as Gabor shows, cancer. There is now a field of medicine which focuses on this pathological-psychological causal link, called by the ugly moniker of psychoneuroimmunology.MAJOR ILLNESSES AND THEIR EMOTIONAL TRIGGERSDr Maté takes the reader through a wide range of cases histories (perhaps too many), focusing by chapter on various chronic and potentially terminal diseases, notably various types of cancer. By looking at the patient’s life experiences – especially parental and partner relationships – as well as physical and neurological symptoms, he brings to light how stress and repression in its many forms is a major trigger in illness. Stress is not the only cause, as we all have genetic, physiological and behavioural tendencies or pre-conditions. However, the author – and a growing body of mainstream Western science – contends that emotional disturbance greatly increases the risk of contracting most immunological diseases.Major illnesses and the psychological states which greatly increase the risk of contracting them include:- ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) aka motor neurone disease. Psychological pre-condition characteristics: repression of emotions: a history of emotional deprivation or loss in childhood: avoiding asking for help; compulsive sense of duty; over-achievers or workaholics; ALS sufferers are usually very nice people. ALS may result from an exhausted nervous system becoming incapable of replenishing itself, experienced psychologically as a sense of being ‘buried alive’.⁃ Breast cancer. Psychological pre-condition characteristics: emotional disconnection from parents or other upbringing disturbances; inability to express or deal appropriately with anger, masked by a facade of pleasantness; compulsive caregiving or self-sacrificing behaviour; feeling that one is never good enough.⁃ Lung cancer. In the mechanistic view, lung cancer results from damage to the DNA of a cell by noxious substances. But why are some smokers far more susceptible to this than others? Cigarette smoking does not by itself cause lung cancer, though it does vastly increase the risk of cancer of the lung, bladder, throat and other organs. It is a combination of factors which cause lung cancer, and one of the main ones is long-standing emotional repression, especially the repression of anger.⁃ Melanoma. Psychological pre-condition characteristics: extremely cooperative, patient, passive, lacking assertiveness; suppressing negative emotions, especially anger.⁃ Heart disease. Psychological pre-condition characteristics: angry, tense, fast, aggressive, desperate to be in control.- Multiple sclerosis, scleroderma, most (or all?) other cancers, rheumatism, Alzheimer’s, diabetes and many other conditions – including depression – are also covered. Parental upbringing is implicated in most cases (see below).HOW PSYCHIC STATES AFFECT THE BODYWhat is the physical process by which emotions affect our physical health? Chapter Seven gives a detailed description. The starting point is that the brain, the nervous system, immune organs and cells, and the hormone-producing endocrine glands are all linked through many pathways. The glands are directly wired to the central nervous system, and thus the brain communicates to the thyroid and adrenal glands, for example, or to the testes, ovaries or other organs. In turn, hormones and immune cell substances directly affect brain activity. The hub of this mosaic of biochemical cross-talk is the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPS) axis, through which both psychological and physical stimuli are set in motion by the body’s responses to threat.’Psychological factors such as uncertainty, conflict, lack of control, and lack of information are considered the most stressful stimuli, and strongly activate the HPS axis.’ Long and intense loneliness can also lead to serious physical breakdown.Thus, our emotions interact with hormones, immune defences and the nervous system. In cancer causation, disturbed hormonal activity and impaired immune defences both play a role. In other words, excess and prolonged emotional stress triggers the over-production of hormones or other nervous reactions, which eventually leads to the destruction of key cells in parts of the body which are already susceptible or weak due to inherited or other pre-conditions. We all have physical weaknesses, which prolonged stress will find out and attack.PARENTAL AND GENERATIONAL INFLUENCESThe major strand of the book (Chapter Sixteen) is how stress and anxiety can be unintentionally transmitted across the generations – not via DNA but via a parent’s failure to communicate unconditional acceptance of the child in the early years. (And the parent may be reproducing the relationship with his/her own parents.) Fundamentally, the problem is that the child develops self-critical beliefs which cause an overload of stress – and unhappiness – and this can generate many physical diseases.These deeply-embedded and largely unconscious attitudes include (but are not limited to) the following:- I have to be strong (because I am not supported by my parents)- It is not right for me to be angry- If I am angry, I will not be loveable- I’m responsible for the whole world (perhaps linked to fear of abandonment)- I can handle anything (nothing I do is good enough)- I’m not wanted because I’m not loveable- I don’t exist unless I do/say something: I must justify my existence (possibly born of latent anger after being neglected as an independent person as a child)- I have to be very ill to deserve being taken care of (often depression-inducing, possibly leading to severe physical illness)To discover full health, it is essential to begin the slow and painful task of becoming fully aware of the attitudes which we have learnt as a very young child in order to please, or adapt to, our parents (see below). Being driven by (mostly unconscious) self-critical beliefs creates deep internal conflict since there is a lack of authenticity – we are not able completely to relax into being ourselves, and thus we are wearing a mask, even if we do not know it, and this comes with a high, psychic and ultimately physical cost: at some point, the body will say ‘no’. To transcend this, we must recognise and re-discover our own inner value and life. Many therapies – and rites of passage – are available to help this healing process, and psychotherapy is often the way.Related to this is the fact that highly adaptive people and families, on average, have fewer (or less severe) physical illnesses. Since the degree of adaptiveness is determined by the multigenerational emotional process, chronic or severe physical illness, like emotional illness, is a disorder of the family emotional system, including present and past generations.Though the author does not emphasise this, being altruistic and self-controlled is not a function of being repressed, but is the most profoundly natural, human response to the world. The problem is when either of these states is out of balance with healthy self-care. We need to love ourselves as much as we love others – neither more nor less – avoiding self-neglect as much as self-indulgence.Socio-economic factors, such a job stress, are another huge influence on health. They can be more significant – says the author – than physical factors, for example, such as high cholesterol and smoking in causing heart disease.EMOTIONAL HEALINGMoving on to what we can do about such emotional issues, in Chapter 19, Dr Gabor Maté outlines what he calls the seven A’s of healing to help us grow into emotional competence. In simplistic summary, these are:- Acceptance = the willingness to recognise and accept things as they are, including the unavoidable limitations in our own life and learning to live with the limitations of others. This does not mean allowing people to walk over us, or over others.- Awareness = reclaiming the lost capacity for emotional truth-recognition, such as for deep-seated anger, sadness, frustration, loneliness and other such difficult aspects which may be buried within us- Anger = learning assertiveness with boundaries and without repression or abnormal (out of control, disproportionate) venting or rage- Autonomy = reclaiming boundaries of our ‘self’ and developing the internal centre of control- Attachment = overcoming deep-seated fear of emotional vulnerability and welcoming our own need for intimate contact and connectedness with others. Frustrated self-isolation and loneliness, says Dr Gabor Maté, lies behind all deep anger.- Assertion = the declaration to ourselves and to the world that we exist, and that we are who we are. This does not mean equating reality with tumult or action, or that we must justify our existence. Assertion may mean letting go of the need to act.- Affirmation = moving towards two basic spiritual values: 1. our own creative self, i.e. expressing our vitality via the particular channels and speeds which are appropriate and available for us; 2. affirming the universe, and our connectedness with all that is. All human beings have a fundamental deep drive to seek a spiritual connection with the universe, which may take religious, artistic or other forms (such as cooking, gardening, animal care, yoga etc).These ‘seven A’s of healing’ are not too far removed from the classic seven stages of grief or other such detailed emotional guidance processes, though they are significantly different. Awareness of imbalance is surely the most important first step, and this comes from developing a degree of self-reflection. After that, we may need to ask for help, or to share with someone.

      10. soCashful

        An Act of Love and Service to the Chronically StressedI see a humble yet empowering attempt made by Maté throughout this read to serve the chronically stressed. I am no student of medical science, hence immensely value the very words thoughtfully weaved together in support of the lay public’s understanding of the why’s and how’s behind the emergence of common diseases (such as esophageal/breast/ovarian/prostate cancer, ulcerative colitis, ALS and fibromyalgia). Understanding, by itself, as depicted by Maté, is a scarce commodity in the dance of generations. Paucity of understanding is, as he argues, ubiquitous in aspects of life a main source of problems. Between parents and children, spouses, partners, siblings and found amongst many more social contracts is that very paucity which forges psychological and biological traumas over years, sometimes the best years of one’s life. Unfortunate as it already is to receive little understanding let alone support from people living under the same roof, the chronically stressed often also happen to amass poor of understanding of the self. We don’t know what we don’t know, but we live in the consequences of what we don’t know. The common thread connecting all patients Maté interviewed for the book is the subjugation of their needs, working intensely to fend for themselves, to appease others, to bid for approval and affection, starting from as early as birth. Executed enough times, the kindness we devise out of emotional desperation toward others eventually compromises the apparatus of the brain, in that our system no longer distinguishes attacks from appraisals from others, translating to dire physiological realities. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe s/he meant it as a joke. Maybe it was all my fault. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so sensitive all the time. Maybe I never was nor ever will be good enough. Maybe I was projecting my own thoughts… and, maybe, just maybe this all sounds so familiar to you that you must consider this read, see where Maté cuts in, dissects, analyses and communicates to the disadvantaged where the Nasrrudin in us should be looking for the key.Personal Takeawaysa. The book allocated most of its pages to factual information, break-downs of case studies and research literature. However, to an extent, I was able to derive some guidance from it all, which helped pinpoint the source of my unexplained anger and anxiety, conducive to a better understanding of how some of my behavioural patterns came to be. I too waited many years (after I became my own person) to tell my mother about an incidence of sexual assault and all the wrong attention to me from a man when I was barely 7. It was a man my mother chose for her second marriage irrespective of my feelings. Each formative year I expended a great deal of mental energy to make sense of my family situation, or whom to trust/connect with/talk to, or where to look for parent substitutes to make my nightmares go away, was one year of an otherwise joie de vivre flushed down the drain. No real health concerns ever arose, but I remember always being the docile girl in every room who lacked vitality characteristic of her age. Everybody wondered why. Nobody inquired.I have loved and hated being able to identify with the voices of all patients interviewed for this book. They alert me to the importance of early fixes lest stress instigates physiological consequences, but they also literally burden me with profound sadness for I wish to travel back in time with what I now know to hold the child me, kiss her, comfort her and tell her she is pure and gold, wanted by the world and undeserving of all detriments, unlike what she’s been told.b. Anger, if experienced genuinely, results in its own extinguishment. It should be a process of allowing tension to dissipate; free expression of emotions but no acting out of unbridled rage. This is unfamiliar territory to me as I always thought of anger management as doing what one pleases to put to bed all unresolved emotions with no regard to consequences this creates for others or oneself. Only the relief should matter. I now understand that a healthy experience of anger comes in layers: 1. Negative thinking beats oafish optimism. Deafening is the popular belief that thinking positively alone alters our mindset and in turn alters our reality. What’s truly positive is being able to recognise what plagues us, knowing how to confront our stressors instead of suppressing or ignoring emotions that keep eating away at us in the hope that we can will happy thoughts into taking over; 2. To undo self-defeating behavioural patterns, release of anger alone does not suffice. There are ways to set boundaries against those who keep us enmeshed in their own problems (yes, parents included), few of us who grew up emotionally depleted would say no to playing the ‘caregiver’ but we should. I don’t feel as though Maté provided guidance on how to set boundaries against stressors such as a dysfunctional family and I’d recommend Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (Lindsay C. Gibson) as an insightful read to accompany this one.Overall, this 5/5 book is an integration of research and discussion on psychoanalysis, sociology and biology. Maté also remains philosophically rich in his proses. As of today, we breathe and speak charades as we navigate relationships at home, at work, and with the community we live in. We remain careful and dare not skip the dances. We study hidden rules and gauge how well or poorly we fare. We need to be liked and respected at the centre of everything we do. Is it any wonder that each day we endure a great deal of uncertainty-induced stress? Oh, and thanks to information asymmetry (the intensity of which varies with socio-economic factors), I may be correct in saying our loss of control of life is not partial, but complete.If each of us must maintain a weaponry required for combatting the physiological perils ingrained in modern living, I’m convinced Maté just raised the quality tenfold.

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